Friday, October 1, 2010

"The Amazing Adventures and Antics of Underwear Boy and Diaper Girl!"

By popular request via Facebook, I've decided to write a short story to celebrate the antics of my household inspired by my lovely two tots! So here's my first stab at it!

Back at the Home of Justice, Underwear Boy was congratulating Diaper Girl for her mad skills during their first super hero collaberation. The fight with the Evil Balloon String Mad Scientist was tasking, but they were succesful in foiling his plans to destroy the peaceful Roomba sweeper by tieing up her brushes.

Just then...Phffft, Phffft, Phffft(alarm sound - reminiscent of stale and a little stinky air if you know what I mean). The "dirty danger scent" alarm sounds alerting them that more danger is in the air!

Underwear Boy: PEE-YEW-EE! Diaper Girl it's the bird brutalizer, Yuki the Birdinator. This is one I should take on by myself as he's a formidable foe who uses his keen guile and intellect to target anything with wings and feathers! This one may be over your head kid and I think it may be best if you to stay SAFE here at the Home of Justice.

Diaper Girl: Are you KIDDING me? I feel very confident after our last caper that I can take this brat cat down. You don't need to worry about me Underwear Boy, I've got the perfect way to keep the birds outside on the wire and that cat in his cage!

Underwear Boy: You could get hurt Diaper Girl and Mommy won't like it if, me as your big brother, didn't keep you safe!

Diaper Girl: Don't worry about Mommy, I've got MIND CONTROL over her she'll never know I'm on the case!

Underwear Boy: You DOOO have mind control over her, all right, but we need to work together and have each other's backs so no one gets hurt.

So...Underwear Boy and Diaper girl gear up in the Supersonic Stroller fitted with lint busting lazers, dust mite mines, and a super suction spill spoiler to comb the house searching room to room for the bad birdy killing beast only to find him in his closet lair with a pent house view. Yuki the Birdinator seeing his scheme to get out the doggy door and target his next victim is in jeopardy desparately flees his lair lunging over the dymanic duo with an acrobatic twist from the closet shelf.

Yuki: HA HA HA... you'll never foil my deadly designs Underwear Boy and Diaper Girl! I've met up with my foul foes Pee Potty PoePoe and Rotten Raven to defeat you and go on to collect birdy beaks to fuel my deadly Rain Ray Machine! I'm going to fill the Arizona sky with clouds and enough rain that Senator John McCain will lobby with Congress for me to RULE over Arizona and then I'll rule the WORLD!

Just then, Pee Potty PoePoe and Rotten Raven arrive on the scene to help usher Yuki out the doggy door when....

WHOOSH... Underwear Boy flys through the air in perfect Teenage Mutant Ninja Turle form with a double karate chop diminishing boths villans to a large pile of hair. Diaper Girl grabs a diaper and flings it through the air straight at Yuki perfectly wrapping him into a tight diaper ball!

Underwear Boy: Nice work Diaper Girl! We can call this one a 'wrap'!

Diaper Girl: Let's get these villans to Mommy and make sure they stay locked up so both the birds and the people of Arizona can stay safe and remain free!

Until next time on The Amazing Adventures and Antics of Underwear Boy and Diaper Girl!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Kids say the darndest things!

I was talking to my amazing fantastic and talented niece yesterday and she suggested that I blog about the funny things Cooper came up with over the last few days.

Last Friday, I was getting ready to take Cooper to a playdate at the mall with all his friends. He was really excited to go and very motivated to get on the road. I was putting on the finishing touches of my make-up and he said, "Mudder, let's go!" ('Mudder' is his recent term for me - not sure where he got that one, though it's pretty funny when he says, "uh,OK Mudder.") I replied, "Cooper, Mommy is finishing her make-up, don't you want me to be beautiful?" His response, "Wauh Wauh Wauh, I'm leaving!" Seriously? He sounded like he was insinuating that for me to be beautiful was a joke or more or less impossible! He then proceed out the garage door and climbed into his car seat in the car and waited there until I came out! What a stinker!

Then, on Sunday we was sitting on the potty with the door open very quitely doing his business in the bathroom off the kitchen. I had forgotten he was there and Bob and I were talking about our last parent's group get together which he missed. I was relaying a story to Bob about how we found the boys in a bathroom all peeing in the toilet and the girls were watching. Bob started laughing and Cooper out of nowhere says, "that's because we are evil geniouses!" I busted out laughing and he then said, "Momma, who are you laughing at?" I said, "You!" He said, "that's because I'm an evil genious!" Really, I think he's been watching too many cartoons!

OR..... maybe they all start saying funny things at 4! It's a toss up!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

It's been a long time friends....

Ok, so I was on a roll and I skipped a few weeks! It's been a long time friends.

I thought this week I'd talk about something other than my trips or my kid! Actually, I'm going to tell you all a tale about Craig's list. Beware...oh's a dangerous site that sucks you in!

As most know, the Tolar's are avid campers! We've been braving the wilderness for the last 8 years in a tent, in black bear country mind you, without incidence I might add. Recently, it's been on my heart to look into finally retiring our tents in hopes of upgrading to a simple pop-up tent trailer. Not that it's any more safe than what we have or we can relax on how we conduct ourselves out there. Safe measures still always need to be applied, but it's a heck of a lot easier to pack and set up with one of those! No more setting tents up...just crank the handle! No more lugging totes and water jugs, just put the supplies in the cupboards and fill the tank with clean water! Ah... sounds like HEAVEN to me!

So, I decided to take a crack at Craig's list. The camping dealers here in AZ are so ridiculously overpriced on pop-ups it is unreal. I figured we have a double gate and an area to store a trailer and we could buy something used and not too old for our use over the next 5 to 10 years or so. I diligently typed in camping pop-up trailers in the Craig's list site. As I was scrolling through the dilapidated 70's and 80's pop-ups, in the midst of my search for the 'golden nugget,' there was an add for FREE Kittens and an adorable picture.

Yep, I'm a SUCKER! Clicked on the add, called the number and an hour later we were the proud owners of an adorable Hemingway kitten! No charge of course except for the gear (litter box, litter, food, and a cart full of kitten toys.) Cooper was so excited to finally have an animal he could love and play with as our dogs don't care for him one bit! My darling husband, Bob, wasn't as excited about our new family member but it's working out just fine now!

Well, I guess that pop-up was just not meant to be for now. Crafty Craig's List...if you use it, watch out! You may just end up with something you aren't looking for at all!

Monday, August 3, 2009

No rest for the wicked!

OK, so just when we think we are getting back to a normal work and life schedule, it's ANOTHER long weekend away in the amazing beauty up north!

An amazing friend gifted us with a long weekend away in Sedona at a beautiful resort with breathtaking views of the Sedona Red Rocks! What's even better is it's only a short 3 hour drive from our home so the drive was bearable for both Cooper and I! I'm not much of a 'car ride' person as most know. I am horribly afflicted with car sickness. It's so bad that once I got car sick driving MYSELF so the short drive was a blessing! On the way there, Cooper took a short nap then woke up asking, "where's DONAS Mama?" So funny, we kept saying it's SE-DONA Cooper but once he puts his mind to call it that, that's what he's going to call it until he decides otherwise! He must take after the 'TOLAR' side of the family...oh wait, the Washburn's are just as bad! Poor boy is doomed to a life of stubborn independence!

Ok, our relaxing get-a-way wasn't quite the de-pressurizing trip that we both probably needed, but we got in a little down time! The Resort suite was excellent with a full kitchen, dining room, fireplace in the living room, and excellent bathroom accomodations. We enjoyed home cooked meals...aka a working vacation for us both in the sense of our general breakfast, lunch, dinner, and cleaning duties! None the less, it was nice to be in a place where the air is a little cooler, the pool is a little bigger, and the view is a lot different on all accounts!

As for activities, we made good use of my husband's brand new pride and joy...his Xterra! We did some trails and narrowly escaped with a slight smack to the rocker panel on the bottom of the truck. We drove away with just a little broken piece of plastic and some famous ARIZONA PINSTRIPES! I thought he'd be devestated about the scratches in the paint as he's constantly teased by us all that he's going to wash the paint right off the truck with his meticulous upkeep! To my dismay, not a flinch at all! I think he's looking at the scratches and the crack as a badge of off-roading honor to share with his Xterra Club friends! The way a man's mind works is amazing isn't it?!

Ok, so on to the fun stuff. We took a trip down to Oak Creek to swim and relax. The boys in their suits as I opted to stay dry and clothed to take a short nap. Reasoning, I'd only slept 4 1/2 hours the night before. A word to the wise, don't make the mistake of drinking coffee before bed if you generally have insomnia on a regular basis. Now that I think about it, not so much a word to the wise as it is a testament to my own stupidity!

As we all know, not all things go as planned. After a great picnic, we found a nice sandy spot to settle in off the bank of the Creek and I laid out my beach mat to settle in under the canopy of green. The nap didn't take on as I planned because I got a 2nd wind and what was apparantly a bout of daytime insomnia. Something I've not experienced before and wasn't the most relaxing thing, so I decided to play with my camera for awhile. Don't laugh at my pictures, the green canopy was really amazing!

Bob and Cooper came back up the bank with Cooper in the lead saying, "Mama, come see. You got to see dis Mom!" I blindly followed out to the creek and Cooper slid down the rock bank into the water only to have his feet fly out from under him on the slippery alge covered bottom. So much for staying dry, in I went to grab his hand and OOPS, I slipped and fell right in I held onto him for dear life so he didn't get swept down river while Bob stood on the bank laughing with all the other Creek goers! Nothing like providing him with a good laugh while I'm terrified of loosing my son down the creek. I guess I'm too uptight and he's too laid back. The Yin and Yang of our marriage never ceases to amaze me! The rest of the trip, I decided that opting for the pool would be a safer place to swim!

One of the pools at the resort had some great features. There was a water spout section for Cooper to play, a negative edge hot tub, and lots of room for swimming and relaxing. Cooper played with the other kids stomping, kicking, and punching the water spouts like a Ninja Turtle which was fun to watch as he ran around saying, "AWESOME!" That's his new favorite Ninja Turtle saying. Bob's convinced he's going to be an Ultimate Fighter when he grows up, I am praying God has better plans for him!

So, we are back home and ready to get back on the road for our next trip to Flagstaff shortly...there truly is no rest for the wicked especially when you are truly a Tolar!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Do you ever need a vacation from your vacation?

Do you ever feel like you return home from vacation and you are so exhausted that it takes days to recover? I'm wondering if it's just me getting old or if everyone at one time or another experiences this phenomena! I guess maybe I'm the sole source of my own suffering here as I plan every minute of our vacation from start to finish included bathroom breaks. Almost anyways! The epithet of the true vacation task master ensues below. Enjoy!

We decided to do a San Diego Trip this year. We made it shorter than our 10 day LA, Beverly Hills, and Disney Land trip last year and I figured we'd come home feeling a little less worn out. Boy, was I wrong!

Who knew how much there is to actually do in San Diego. In my weeks of research, I found everything from Train to Tequila Museums! A vacation plan for me usually takes weeks and days of orchestration. I research everything from where to go, what to eat, and even where to park and include all the costs and maps so we can easily get there without wasting a second of time! I narrowed it down to the standard, beach, Sea World, Zoo, and a little marathon shopping thrown in!

Day one, as we rolled in from the Highway, was La Jolla Beach. Our favorite place on earth. The skies were blue and the tide pools were clear and full of fun creatures to look at! Cooper's love of the Ocean is stronger than ever. He told me he, "loves all the Ocean, even the sharks, except for the bad sharks like the Great White!" One day, I'm sure he'll love those big guys as well, but the fear factor runs strong in him as sharks terrorize me in my dreams. Hopefully, this will not be his worst fear! We did lunch at our ol' stand by, Karl Strauss Brewery, and then off to check into our Hotel, dinner, and to sleep for our next day of torture.

Day two started at the crack of dawn with breakfast in the hotel and then off to Sea World or so we thought. OK, so no, I'm not perfect! I accidentally copied the WRONG directions into our map and we ended up in the totally wrong place, but with a little detour through the Naval base got back to the I5 freeway and followed the signs to Sea World. You would think with an MBA I could get this stuff straight, but we got there eventually and that's all that mattered! To err is to be human! Boy, did I get a railing from Bob about how it's a good thing we have 'Bob-Star' to get us there! On a side note, we all call my darling husband 'Bob-Star' because he has a memory like a steel trap and keen sense of direction. Literally, we haven't been to San Diego in almost 4 years, but he still knows how to get around there WITHOUT even looking at a map most of the time and this is only the 3rd time we've been there in our lives! I married an idiot savant when in comes to maps, traveling, directions, etc... I lucked out there because as it turns out apparently I'm very directionally challenged!

Sea World was fun, lunch in the park was relaxing, and the shows were great! All except we decided to sit at the very front of the Shamu show and got DRENCHED! Cooper cried and became terrified of getting splashed again and spent the remainder of the show hiding on the floor behind the people. We got wise later in the day and did the dolphin show staying well clear of the 'splash zone!' It was so hot though that we were wishing we were getting some cool relief down there the whole time! After seeing EVERYTHING, it was dinner on the way home and slip into bed for another night's sleep in a strange bed. Did I sleep? Totally unsure if you could call it sleep or not!

Onto day three! Again, crack of dawn and breakfast at the hotel. Are you seeing a pattern? Off to the San Diego Zoo and YES my directions were correct this time! We took all day to walk the zoo and see all the animals we could! Great exercise but doing two marathon's in two days with a 3 year old is a lot of work! Thank God we got smart the 2nd day and rented a stroller at the zoo for him although this was more of a curse in disguise. Now I had to push a heavy zoo stroller with a 38 lb
kid in it up all the hills, but it greatly improved his mood which was worth it! The day ended with dinner in our room and off to bed!

Day four was a great day of shopping at the Seaport Village on the bay. So great to walk in and out of the shops, pick up souvenirs for our family, and have a seafood lunch watching the sailboats on the bay. A slice of heaven I tell you! What better than shopping and some great seafood?! Back to the hotel, dinner, went to the theatre to see a movie and back to pack up so we could check out early and head on home the next day! We stopped at the Dunes on the way back and took a quick family snapshot! Boy was the sand HOT. We were actually seeing a mirage on the road that looked like a pool of water it was so HOT!

Trip summary, not one minute of time where we weren't doing or seeing something new and exciting. Mission accomplished...exhaustion ensued!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Anniversary Camping Trip...

Anniversary Camping Trip you say? My rebuttal, don't knock it until you try it, but beware!

We spent our 11 year Anniversary this year camping at Bear Canyon Lake which was quite relaxing and tons of fun...until the trip home! It all started as we arrived at our campsite at 8:30PM at Bear Canyon Lake and began the process of setting up camp. It's become a lot easier to do so in the dark due to Bob's new truck with it's Off Road package. We had plenty of light, got the fire going right away, and settled in.

Now, for those of you who think, you are nuts driving up there in the dark and setting up, it's only taken us 8 years to perfect the art of getting the tent constructed, blow up our beds, unroll our sleeping bags, and layout our area for cooking and washing. Yep, by now we really should have invested in an off-road pop-up tent. It's a dream that may one day become our reality. Wheel it up and pop it open all done! What a vision!

We woke early Saturday morning, 6:30 AM, got coffee and breakfast on, then jumped in the car with the dogs and drove down to the lake. The parking lot was a bit full but we were sure that after the 250 foot climb down to the lake we would find a spot to call our own. We sure did! It had a little sandy beach for Cooper to wade in as well! Armed with his net he dove in to catch 48 cray fish in all and a few baby trout with his net! Bob was unsuccessful with his rod and reel as others around us pulled in Rainbow trout he came up with BUNK! He must have his Dad's fishing genes! They don't catch a thing!

We spent most of the day at the lake and night by the fire reading a book out loud for Cooper to enjoy and early to bed early to rise again! Breakfast, pack up, and then back on the road...where the true fun began!

So we decided to take a few side stops on the way back to the Rim and the Tonto Creek Fish Hatchery. I had a heart attack while snapping a picture of the boys on the ledge. I was so terrified they were going to go over! Cooper had a blast feeding the fish and looking at all the different sizes at the Hatchery. We even ventured into the visitor's center to see the sights there.

This trip, I actually pulled out the camera and I was snapping pictures the whole time, Cooper's catch, Bob fishing, the lake, Bob and Cooper taking a nap, the Rim, our trip to the Hatchery and the beautiful scenery and flowers. We get back in the car after the Hatchery and I decide to view my pictures. UGH....yep, you guessed they were ALL GONE!!! Every one of them but the last few of the Tonto creek I took on the drive out. I was so angry and saddened by the loss of all those great moments I captured! It's God's sign we'll have to repeat the trip again I guess!

Ok. To make matters worse, our dogs took our trip to a new level of 'rock bottom' after the loss of all those pictures on the way home! They began tag team vomiting all over Bob's new truck and Raven even took a poo while sick. GROSS...this episode left me feeling queasy the rest of the ride home only to recover this morning!

Ah...the adventures of camping!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Our Happy Campers!

I daresay, what can be better than a weekend away spending time with friends and family camping?

Most people know this about us, but we LOVE to go camping as a family all summer long! Yep, ol' fashioned tent camping, cooking over a fire, catching what we eat...WELL that's maybe taking it a little too far! We're rustic if you don't include the ceiling fan we bought for our tent, gigantic gas cook stove, and large coolers full of food! However, on this trip, we did catch and eat something!

This year we invited some of our great friends, The Wilson's, to come along! It was an awesome trip to the Haigler Creek Campground. It was going to be Yan's first trip so we decided on something a little less 'wilderness' with the luxuries of a one stall toilet on the grounds! Usually, the standard bathroom routine on our camping trips includes a shovel to dig a hole and some toilet paper! We thought it would be best to break Yan in SLOWLY! :)

It was a great trip with great company despite a few hiccups in our journey! Our days filled up for the boys down by the Creek fishing but catching mostly just crayfish on their lines. The trout just weren't biting! Cooper and Ethan were best buddies all weekend, eating meals together, playing chase, and up to their knees in the creek.

Yan and I even had GIRL time to chat and go off looking for some fire wood. As for our nights, they were filled with hearty dinners around the campfire, smores, and great conversation. We even did a crayfish boil and ate a little of what the boys caught! Amazingly, these little crayfish were good eatin'!

However, at night, we were deprived of some sleep. Not scared of animals as much as we were of our WILD neighbors. As it so happened, a group of guys at the campsite next to ours came up for a bachelor party and were having a bit too much fun getting plastered, naked, and taking pictures of themselves posed with a passed out party goer...Hopefully not the GROOM as I'm sure those would be some pretty horrible blackmail pictures for his blushing BRIDE! Saturday night was filled with yells of 'Shotgun time', 'beer bong!, 'tomahawk', laughter and the camera flash until 3 AM. UGH.... I remember my 'first' beer....SO LONG AGO!

Next's back to the WILDERNESS for us! Bear Canyon Lake, HERE WE COME!